Time Warp

Here's what the stars, as interpreted by the good seers at The Onion, have in store for me:

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Due to conditions beyond fate's control, Sagittarius will be required to repeat February 1992.

I have no idea what I was doing in February 1992, but as I'd recently turned 13, I'm sure it was lame and involved a lack of fashion sense. Agh.