Weight and See

Couple of interesting conversations going on about weight loss and body image and vanity going on at Betty Beguiles' place and Betty Duffy's and Bearing's.

I've been losing weight lately, mostly through the expedient of eating less. No snacking after dinner, light breakfast, etc. I don't have the time to squeeze in lots of exercise right now, but there's no opportunity cost to not stuffing your face. It has not yet ceased to amaze me that my figure is still there and still recoverable. There is probably an element of vanity here; I concur wholly with Bearing when she says:

Yes, yes, we're all supposed to pay lip service to "health" as the reason to become physically fit and lose weight and all that sort of thing. I've done it myself. But admit it people.

You (yes, you) want to have a hot body.

Yes, I want to look good. I don't want to look "hot" for anyone but Darwin (and I do mean that), but yes, for him, I'm not averse to being a siren, sure.

As I've lost weight, my ten-month-old has stopped gaining weight. This is likely unrelated to my weight loss, as even stuffing her with pureed turkey and chicken and potatoes and rice cereal for a month hasn't fattened her up; she stays resolutely petite, though her hair has gotten very thick and she's added a few more teeth. She's exceedingly healthy, all fourteen pounds of her. But when, at her last weight check, the doctor suggested supplementing with formula and theorized that perhaps my milk wasn't providing enough nutrition for baby, I had to consider -- would I want more nutritious milk at the price of regaining weight, especially when the baby is getting older and going to be eating solids more and more? And I don't know the answer. It's not as if I'm her only food source. She nurses more for comfort these days than for nourishment (especially if it's right after a filling meal of yogurt and chicken and "tender pureed green beans").

I haven't parsed all this in my mind yet, let alone figure out where health and vanity start butting heads. I will say, though: I've been amazed (and that's not too strong a word) to see contours of my body I'd forgotten I had reappear, as if there's a whole new healthy self emerging. Vanity, perhaps, but also wonder and delight at the thought that this is ME! And that's not to be lightly brushed off -- God made my body, and it is good.