I guess it's better than, "You're so fat!"

Someone I see around at church came up to me the other week and said, "I hadn't realized you were pregnant!"

I was 35 weeks pregnant.

Things like this make me question: when people say this, does it mean that previously they just thought I was fat? Because it's pretty unmistakable, in whatever I wear, that my stomach sticks out past my bust. I'm carrying around a good 30 extra pounds, and that weight has got to go somewhere. So if it isn't immediately obvious that I'm pregnant, what exactly does it look like?

And how does that jibe with the people who say, "Oh, you're so tiny! When I was that far along, I was just huge!" Is there some sort of mental shift people do when they know someone is pregnant, in which the proportions of the body suddenly change?

Anyway, we report, you decide. Here are two gratuitous belly shots -- I'm 37 weeks today.

That's the head of the last tenant. He is still blond -- what is that?

I guess the point is, I feel achy and huge. I lumber when I walk, and the amount of effort it takes me to roll over in bed at night is elephantine. So it's cold comfort to hear someone say, "You look so small!" when I feel like a whale and baby is bouncing on my bladder and kicking my ribcage.

My friends, I've run out of patience with being pregnant. Baby can arrive any time she pleases.